WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST! 

I've breezed through the Holiday collections more or less unscathed, which I'm very happy about!!!

Except for Tom Ford Black Out Lacquer but that's nails and doesn't count. Right. And the little Laura Mercier trio (here) because I'm almost finished with the mini Matte Radiance Baked Powder in Highlight 01 - didn't want to get a full size because the packaging is really bulky for traveling and it's taken over a year to finish the mini anyway. SERIOUSLY almost finished with a highlighter can we celebrate that for a sec - who cares that it's a mini ha ha!!

I thought Guerlain Holiday was going to be my downfall...I mean...UGH...those Meteorites in the sparkly, glowy, gold globe...so darn GORGEOUS. I knew I wanted that and possibly the Meteorites Voyage Enchante compact. And Chanel Rouge Noir collection - I knew I wanted the lipstick, matching liner and Rose Fusion lacquer.

Once Guerlain Holiday pics started showing up on IG, something inside my beauty heart kinda died. I mean, they were everywhere. And suddenly I didn't want them. And I didn't want the Voyage Enchante compact either. 

Then I stalked the Nordstrom site until the Chanel Rouge Noir collection showed up. And by stalked I mean checked 2-3x/day. Seemed like forEVER but it finally showed! Then I googled swatches for the 5,789,245th time and my little Rouge Noir heart died too. I didn't want it!

Except for Rose Fusion. But nail polish doesn't count. And please forget what I ever said about never getting Chanel polish again because I hate the brush. I still don't like the brush...but OH THE COLORS!!! I won't say something so silly ever again. Ha ha, except that I probably will?!!!

But hey now...no Dior, Givenchy, D & G, Burberry, Armani, and on and on...I feel like Lara Croft defeating my Holiday collection enemies!!!

I'd like to think I'm growing up!!! Oh, and of course my new storage and organization is helping, right?!!!

Even the Spring promo pics that are trickling out - really beautiful (HELLOOOOOOOO Chanel blush thingy that looks like lots of pretty ribbons!!!), but nothing I'm dying to have. Plus, my skin has been a little poorly and really finicky lately, and I've been trying to focus on skincare and getting things back in good health. 

So...yeah...think I'm feeling pretty good about not really partaking in the Holiday collections!! Is it possible for me to be done with makeup shopping for the rest of the year???? Could that happen???

I WROTE ALL THAT BEFORE THE WEEKEND. 

Then this...

My happy, smug self quickly vanished, and I felt pulled in every beauty direction. What what what happened??? I don't know. Really I don't. But obviously something snapped. I'm sure the word SALE didn't help either! 

I painted my nails with Chanel Quartz for work - it's one of the few Chanel polishes I still have, and I love it so much I decided Rose Fusion would be similar (but you know, with rose shimmer and different enough!). I needed it. So I bought it. 

Then I went ahead and ordered the full size of Benefit Gimme Brow because I'm loving the sample and don't want to be without it. And did I mention I LOVED the Kir Royale Bite Beauty lipstick color SO much that I wanted that full size as well?!! I didn't realize it was LE so then I really, really needed it. Oh btw, I should probably get another Kir Royal trio perk just in case *wink wink*. 

Then a lovely Sephora associate game me a FF 20% code. That meant I could finally get that Surratt Face Brush - on sale!! And for some reason I found myself looking at the Hourglass Arch Brow Sculpting Pencil and saw they have the color Ash, which is supposed to be a cool grey-brown color. Thought it might make a really good combo with the Gimme Brow I bought in med/dark because there is one small sparse area I have a little trouble filling out. Then 2 Laura Mercier Caviar Sticks ended up in my cart. Lately I've preferred to use the Burberry cream shadow over most of my powders. I love the color and the fact that none of it ends up under my eyes even at the end of a long day (which I was reminded of by a ttsandra video - can't remember which one exactly sorry - but that was kind of DUH moment and I thought the LM shadow sticks might be good to try again but in different colors than I had before). But the Burberry takes forever to build up because the color is pretty sheer on me, so I was thinking Amethyst might be close in color, but more pigmented?? And the Moonlight Caviar Stick...well...IDK on that one. It was just pretty. 

To recap the weekend makeup purchases:

• (Chanel Rose Fusion) in parentheses because already said polish doesn't count ha ha! 
• Benefit Gimme Brow
• Bite Beauty Kir Royale lipstick full size
• Hourglass Arch Brow Sculpting Pencil
• Laura Mercier Caviar Sticks in Amethyst and Moonlight
• (Surratt Face Brush) in parentheses because it's not exactly makeup

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall this to say...I go in such circles!! I'll get to a place where I'm feeling really good and happy with my collection, then BAM something strikes and suddenly what I have isn't enough. I've blogged about my random phases of beauty consumption, but in real life it happens and circles around more times than I care to really talk about. What I wrote above is just makeup, but it happens with skincare too. 

I had a really great Twitter conversation with Liz @Reductionista (I've edited it a little to flow and make sense) about all of this after I saw one of her tweets...btw she is on a beauty no buy until the end of the year...

Me: Wow that's really impressive!!!! ...when you get the itch is it the commitment to the no buy & loving your smaller collection or do u just keep telling yourself u don't need it or something else?

Liz: I just clamp down on the curiosity factor to test new things and tell myself I have enough. Like I'm really tempted by the new JINsoon polishes right now but I still have dozens of Diors and Chanels that are just there. So, yeah, it's learning to appreciate what's already here and not relying on new things to perk up a boring day or whatever. Big picture-wise, I do it to break old habits and invest into a better future that has very little to do with makeup.

Me: habits, yes! So hard to break out of habits. Maybe I need to find some other hobbies to help break out of the beauty fog

Liz: Yep! I try to cook/bake from scratch and hit the grocery store more now. I'd take up a sport if I had any interests there. And the part that's really hard to tackle is the money that's spent. I wish I could convert all the makeups into $$$ and donate to more causes and charities that I want to support. Looking outward beyond my personal needs helps, too. But it doesn't do to wallow in guilt for past actions so I'm just focusing on doing better going forward. That's it!

Me: thank u - ALL very good stuff. I'm gonna work on it. Maybe I'll start keeping a journal. I love the last thing you said - don't wallow!!!!!

Liz: I have no doubt that you'll find good balance in time. You've been on a similar mission and you'll know it when it's time. And yea - lol, I'm a big time wallower by nature but that hasn't led to any positive changes. Trying to fight old instincts. 

Me: thank you. I have been [on a similar mission] but I feel like I keep going in circles. I find a good place then get caught up again then purge a bunch. & feel like I'm in a good place again...then circles again & again. I need to find my stride. 

Liz: The purging thing - I told myself no more blog sales after clearing out the unwanted and that has helped. Because sometimes I'd buy something with the mental excuse that I would get rid of X, Y and Z. That had to stop. 

Me: oh that's a good one!! Bc sometimes I'll say oh I got rid of (or will get rid of) SO much & justify something I don't need.

Liz: Exactly! And we're usually pretty set about the stuff we like, right? End up coming home with very similar shades, etc. I think you have to find boundaries that you're comfortable with and will stick. 

Me: yes comfortable boundaries!!

Liz: I amend that to comfortable value-based boundaries. I'm focused on less waste so that means no buying unnecessary things. It'll be different for you but maybe set goals like eventually getting rid of return and purge shelves [in your new organization] or something like that. In any case, good luck! Having a good setup definitely helps assess current needs. 

*****

None of this is to say buying makeup is bad!!! Personally, I'm just trying to get to a place where I can confidently resist temptation and use the things I already own and love. Not to say I won't buy things here and there, but I don't want to feel frenzied about it...know what I mean?? Because feeling frenzied isn't fun. I don't want to feel panicked when I hear the words SALE or GWP. I want buying to be the exception rather than the norm. I want to read a review or see a beautiful lipstick and say, eh, don't need it! Since I like to keep my collection small, I don't want to feel the need to purge for the sole reason that I have too much. I want to feel calm, cool and calculated about my makeup purchases!!!

Here's my little plan to get going in the right direction again:

• Keep a journal. Write my thoughts down anytime I think I need or want something makeup-y. 
• For the blog - go through my ENTIRE makeup collection piece by piece, reswatch if necessary, and write my current thoughts. Don't worry, I'll do a bunch at a time so it'll be for instance, Revisiting My Collection: Eyeliners, type of post :-)  I'm hoping this will help achieve a few things:

1. Identify any products that need to be purged.
2. Appreciate what I already have rather than always looking for the new.
3. Identify holes in my collection or products/colors I feel I'm missing. I know this one seems completely the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve, but the reasoning here is that if I have enough to choose from then I won't be as tempted. 

Sorry for the way long post!! Sometimes it's just nice to talk things out with people who understand! 

How about you??? How are you feeling about the Holiday collections?? How are you feeling about your makeup stash (or beauty in general) - are you overwhelmed or are you in a good place? Have you been doing much shopping or do you plan on doing much the rest of this year??